I’m not really sure where I am
Like most things in my life, my blog has become a hodgepodge of stuff with no real direction. I have been a Jane of all Trades and Mistress of None my whole life. My interests are varied and unfocused. They take me through crazy phases and wind me right back to the place where I began…looking for something that I could really be great at.
Blogging is completely foreign territory for me. I can hardly turn on my TV set these days with all the remotes and complicated searching on Playstation (we don’t have cable). Netflix is a place I like to visit when someone else is around to get me there and help me search. I can argue that it is my age and that I am too busy to learn how to do it for myself, but that is just a lame excuse. Maybe I don’t want it badly enough. I could read a book instead, right?
Well, what about all the learning required when you begin a blog? Seriously. Sorting out the widgets from the plug-ins and the CSS from the RSS. I don’t know if people will subscribe to me or follow me. I don’t know why I really want to do this. My motivation changes almost instantly with every blog I visit. I originally thought I would make it a sort of Bucket List, then it became a way to connect with other knitters. That was too limiting because I really love music too, so I added our band page. My real goal is to be self-sufficient, so before long I was introducing the world (potentially) to my forbidden birds. All the while hoping that none of my neighbors would accidentally find my blog and rat me out.
Just pick a direction and go
I try not to beat myself up about my lack of focus. The truth is I kinda like that I don’t know what I’ll be doing next. My hope is that I can encourage and be encouraged by others of like mind. I don’t want to justify why I would rather knit my own socks when I can buy an entire package at Wal-mart, or why I would bother to hang homemade mozzarella from every knob in the kitchen when it’s on sale at the neighborhood supermarket. I sometimes secretly wish that we would lose power so others would see the value in preserving this pioneer spirit. (it’s short-lived when I consider that I wouldn’t be able to blog 😉
I guess the best course for me is to put it all out there and hope that someone, somewhere can relate. It’s a lonely place right now, but I guess I’m living as a Modern Pioneer. Hoping that the next traveler will stop at my door and stay awhile. I hope that it’s you and that we can forge a supportive friendship.
So for now, I will hold onto Thoreau’s sage advice and Go confidently in the direction of my dreams and live the life I imagined and hope that I meet with success unexpected in common hours.